I remember about 3 weeks ago, when i was 'sick', i had a quarrel with Mommy one night, in the car. I couldn't stop crying because i don't know why she can't seem to understand the pain i was suffering from. Immediately, when Mommy got down the car to see my grandma, i fished out my phone and called Daddy. Crying, begging him to take me home. Daddy, who was out with a friend, rushed to pick me up. The moment i got down from Mommy's car, the moment i looked at her face, i felt a huge spasm of guilt, heartache and pain. Mommy was hurt. Daddy took me for a car ride before home. I was crying all the way, telling him how i felt, how i wanted to leave this place, how much i needed Mun Yoong because then, he was really THE ONLY ONE who could make me happy. He's my medicine. He's my cure. When i can't even pray, that was when i know Mun Yoong was the only way out. I need to see him. I had to. Because if i hadn't, i wouldn't be blogging right now, i'd be 6 feet under.
And so i went to PJ. Stayed there for 2 weeks plus. Spent everyday i have there, cherished every second, treasured every moment with Mun Yoong. Though we've fought for a couple of times there even, it didn't last. I don't regret going to PJ. All i had in mind was 'I can't afford to waste one second not being happy together with him.'
Indeed, my short vacation paid off. I was much happier when i came home. Only at times abit sad cuz i can't see him. I'm going back to PJ this sunday. Because, thanks to Uncle Mike, i've gotten a job at his place. Not exactly what i had in mind, but i believe this is God's answer. It's ironic how every time, things always turn out to be the exact opposite of what we have had in mind. In fact, they are always good ones. We'd always turn out to be happier in the end, despite the stubborn human nature, i think we ought to really really really commit everything to God. Cuz with every single thing, every single moment in my life, which i believe is no coincidence, shows that God ALWAYS has something better in store for us.
I can now boldly say that "God has a way. And His ways, are always, always, always better than ours." Believe it.
