I don't get what life's tryna tell me.

Last night was my most miserable night ever. It only became so much better because my boyfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend came over to check on me, to see if i was alright, to cheer me up. Gan and Ken came to my place all the way from Kampar while Mun Yoong, from KL. They came at about 2am and stayed til 5am. Thank you so much you guys =')

It all started when last night, i began checking some information about something online and found out that the symptoms all matched. It wasn't a good thing obviously. And as if i wasn't stress enough, this had to happen. I began crying. I sat in the corner of my room, feeling so afraid. So afraid of everything. I hate myself. I feel worthless. And i bit myself. I cried for hours in the room that Gan and Baby got so worried about me. Me feeling like that, acting like that, wasn't the first time. Only thing is last night was worse. I hurt myself. I cry easily these days. I feel so afraid all the time. I feel restless. Self-loathing. And so much more negative shite. And guess where all these lead to? Depression. First, i've got anxiety attack. Now, the probability of getting depression isn't that low either.

I do not understand what's going on. Where can i search the old me? The happy-go-lucky me? I don't know what's wrong...really...

"Life's a game. And looks like I'm losing."